flames application

[Flame]

Character Name: Flame

Species: Fire Tailed Phoenix

Age: 2 years old

Gender: female

Description: With beautiful shiny feathers on her chest and her wings. Can only blow a little bit of fire everyday. Since her heart is almost made of fire if she gets too cold she will die. She is a speedy flier but a little slower when running. She is a very responsible phoenix and does everything she is told to do (except killing herself).

Personality: She loves to play with fire. She can stand up to humungous heat. Her favorite thing to do is fly. When she eats she can only eat special plants that warm her stomach. She also loves to do chores.

Bio: Basically, your character's history, parents, any extra info. She only saw her parents when she was one years old and then learned to fly once they set her off on her journey. Before she was born her egg frozen by the cold of winter. So she has many colds and can only eat things that warm her stomach.

Greatest Strength: Fire

Greatest Weakness: Water, ice

Example of Roleplay: There in the middle of the cold her egg lay. Turning her into an ice cube. Her parents saved her egg and found a warm cave to sleep for the while until her egg hatched…

[Pyral]

I'm sorry, nothing personal, but this...just isn't quite literate, and this is a literate website. I know you tried hard, and I appreciate that, but sometimes your person best isn't up to local standard.

Rejected - Feel free to try again.

[Flame]

here is another try maybe you will like it better


Character Name:Flame

Species:Fire Tailed Phoenix

Age: 2 years old

Gender:female

Description: Bright red shining feathers everywhere on her body. A great posture and beautiful red eyes. Sharp dark red talons and a sharp light red beak. Black spot on her beak and claws. Claws are very long for fighting.

Personality: Is a very responsible phoenix. Loves to clean and do chores. Loves to play with fire. Always ready for a fight to win. Listens to what she is told to do by her master.

Bio: She learned to fly at half a year old and is now a master in flying. Fast when avoiding dragons and when fighting from behind their back on their head. Her mother and father taught her to worship the gods when she was one month old. Now she prays whenever she needs help.

Greatest Strength:Earth, Dark

Greatest Weakness:Ice, Water

Example of Roleplay: There it was the evilness wanting to battle. She was ready to fight it back. She was trying to intimidate it so it would be an easy fight but it didn't work as well as she thought it would. It shivered a little bit and she pounced on top of it. then she said "do you surrender or do you want to die?" It ran away but then came back very quickly with a few more of its kind. she got a little bit scared but not scared enough to not fight...

[Pyral]

OOC: *sigh* Alright, alright...Let me type this out the way that I would do it to show you exactly what you must do ALWAYS and EVERY SINGLE TIME that you post. BIC:

Character Name: Flame

Species: Fire Tailed Phoenix

Age: 50 human years old (10 phoenix years)

Gender: Female

Description: She possesses great posture to match her sleek body, which is feathered in a multitude of dark red feathers: some soft and downy while others are thick and strong enough to lift her body into the air. Her bright eyes hold the depth of her mind inside of them, reflecting the world in their liquid red. She wields scarlet talons that are continually sharpened to points, and a light red beak with a thin enough point to reach into small crevices. On her beak and claws are a multitude of small dark spots, peppering them in an almost scale-like pattern.

Personality: Flame is responsible as a whole, though every now and again she might forget something or loose focus. For no apparent reason, she has a deep love of...cleaning. And chores. Though not quite as surprisingly, she loves to play with fire. I mean, who doesn't?! She loves to fight, and she loves to win, though her species general nature leans away from harsh confrontations.

Bio: She learned the purpose of her wings at but one phoenix year old, and now is a master of the air - She can easily avoid dragons and fly unnoticed behind their back, preferring to attack their head. As soon as mental comprehension came to her, her parents drilled into her a deep love of the gods and taught her to worship them unerringly. Hence, she prays when she's in danger.

Greatest Strength:Earth, Dark

Greatest Weakness:Ice, Water

Example of Role play:

There it was.

The creature had come. It's body was black, the deformed scales cracked from age and wear. It was like a piece of coal that had been coated in a layer of ash, its eyes the still-living embers from a dying fire. Its claws were grey, ashen...deadly. It gave an alien cry, neither a cry of agony nor a howl of hate, but something in between.

She was ready to fight it.

She flashed her feathers, trying to seem bigger and more flashy than she actually was. Trying to intimidate it. No such luck. It shivered, dust falling from its cracked, grey flesh. Opening it jaws again, it growled, the sound dry and piercing at once.

She winced, then tensed her legs and leapt into the air, putting her claws before her and slamming into the creature. It fell back with a cry of alarm, the sound shrill and ear-piercing, nearly hurting Flame with the sharpness of it.

Her ears still ringing, "Do you surrender, or do you want to die?"

It hissed, putting it's clawed paws beneath her and shoving her off, rolling onto all four paws and darting off, disappearing behind a sand dune.

"That's what I thought." She turned and preened a slightly disheveled feather with her delicate beak, feeling enormously pleased with herself for being so very amazing.

But not for long.

A chorus of growls and howls came, each one the cold and alien sound of the monster of evil that had confronted her only moments before. Her head shot up and her eyes widened at the scene. There were seven- no, eight of them, on all sides, growling and snapping their eyes hungry and their claws flexing with anticipation of the kill.

I will not back down.

[Flame]

I promise to Write like that as long as possible. Am i aloud to post now?

[Pyral]

*shakes head* No. 'Long as possible' just doesn't cut it. You must write like that - *motions above* all of the time, and I can't let you post here at all until you prove you can write at least two or three good paragraphs like a literate. Then I might consider it. But as is, you're a semi-literate. I mean, there's no rich description, there are grammatical and spelling mistakes, no paragraph formatting, you jump from scene to scene in one sentence...I'm sorry, but you're just...not quite there yet. *pats* But don't get your hopes down. No-one's literate from the start, Des. It takes some work. I can help you, if you want, because I know that you've got potential - A bright imagination and strong initiative are key ingredients to create a roleplayer, but what you're missing is the component that makes literates: The ability to use words to show people what you see. However, such an thing is easy to create. It just takes time. I would suggest, as practice, to try writing a story. That way I can further explain how you can improve it, until everything you write is of literate quality. When I was your age, that's exactly what I did, and when I got onto the roleplay boards, everyone considered me at the literate level. You see? Nothing’s impossible. Sometimes it's not easy, but it's never impossible. Do let me know if you're interested in being tutored.

[Flame]

how is this

They alien like creatures stepped closer to her. She relized that they much swifter than she was on the ground. She also relized that they could not fly. Her claws started scraping the ground as she got ready to fly up and attack from behind. They jumped towards her she flew upwards very quickly but one jumped on her.

Gasping for air she scrached it on its abdomen and the creature jumped back away from her. She then flew up and forfeited the fight. After howmany creatures there were she decided that she couldn't win that battle. She said to herself I need more training for thoses creatures before I battle them again.

She flew back pyrallis in search of a trainer but had no luck. She prayed to pyral to send a trainer for her to train with and waited for the answer from pyral.

[Pyral]

*bangs head on keyboard* This is so tiring...I have just said I will teach you to be a literate, because you AREN'T one! Not yet, at least! This website is quite beyond you right now! I will TEACH YOU! TEACH. YOU. You aren't ready yet! *sigh* Look. If you're too embarrassed to accept help, that's fine - but really, Des. I can't deal with this anymore. It's wearing and tearing on my nerves, because I hate tearing you down! Normally I would be quite sharp and quick about it, but I'm walking on eggshells so I won't hurt your feelings. And my GOSH is it tough.

[Flame]

i shall accept the help ok

[Pyral]

Good to know. We'll work on it later.

[Flame]

ok

[Pyral]

*sigh* I distinctly said in the rules that there was to be no chatspeak or text talk...

[Flame]

Sorry pyral